Sticks and Stones May Break my Bones, but Words Will Never Hurt!

Every time I hear this phrase I imagine a little kid on the playground getting teased by the other kids and in turn saying back to the kids with a very brave look on her face, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” As she walks away from the mean kids, she’s crying on the inside and may be crying on the outside. I totally get the words in this phrase, but are they really true? Yea, so obviously sticks and stones are going to leave a visible mark and if thrown hard enough can break a bone but do the words really never hurt? Though it’s a good phrase to live by and to keep yourself strong but let’s face it people, the words do hurt. And not only do the words hurt, but they never leave you!!  The bruise from the stones heals and goes away leaving no trace of any harm but the words, that’s a different story. Sometimes they stay in the forefront of our memory and sometimes they stay stored way back to where we only think about them once in a while.

Growing up chubby I’ve had my fair share of words that have hurt. Fortunately I didn’t get teased too much by other kids at school but I did get the occasional tease about my clothes. I’ve heard, “You have a beautiful face, you’d be so much prettier if you lost weight.” Or, sometimes people wouldn’t even finish the sentence, they would just say, “You have a beautiful face” and that lingering “but” would be written all over their forehead. In college, a random guy I didn’t even know said to me “You have big hips!” Granted, he was mad because I asked him to leave the party my roommates and I were having because he didn’t know a single soul at our party and he needed to be removed. So, instead of running off crying, I threw my very full, tall, glass of beer in his face. That was my way of saying to him, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words will never hurt me.”  Well, guess what, they did hurt and I still recall that moment very vividly. In more recent years I’ve had some people in my life show lack of support and confidence in me that I was committed to losing weight and getting healthy. Their words or lack thereof have really hurt. I realize that sometimes people’s lack of support stems from their own jealousies of your success but it still doesn’t make you feel good. 

So, why am I telling you all this…you may be wondering? I’m not looking for a pity party, or fishing for compliments or words of encouragement, I just want you to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It breaks my heart when I hear about kids getting bullied or teased at school. I know kids can be so mean when they are young because 1. They don’t know any better or 2. That is what they see at home. What I really want to know is, what’s an adult’s excuse for saying hurtful things? The people who say things like “You’d be so much prettier if you lost weight” will in turn tell you they are only saying this because they care about you. I do believe that on some level but I wish they knew how scarring it is to hear it that way. I’m obviously talking about hurtful words in regards to weight issues because that is what I’ve experienced but hurtful words of all sorts and how it left you feeling can be applied to what I’m talking about here.

Moving on from hurtful words is sometimes easier for one than the other but it’s important to do. I feel stronger knowing I can admit that the words hurt but I’m not going to let them define me, instead I’m going to let those words make me a better person. I didn’t choose to lose weight because I was tired of hearing the “beautiful face” comment; I lost it because I was ready.  I wanted to do it to be a healthy role model for my daughter. I wanted to do it so I could live a healthy life and be around to see my grandchildren, not because some dude with low self esteem told me I have big hips! But, most importantly I did it for me!

HEALTHY TIP: Can’t get enough of Groupon and Living Social, check out www.healthdeals.com. It’s set up the same way but geared towards fitness and nutrition. 

HEALTHY RECIPE: Here’s a tasty Weight Watchers recipe I’ve made a few times. It looks like a lot of work but I promise it’s easier to prepare than it looks and it’s worth it. TIP: Prepare it the day before you are going to cook it. It taste even better the next day!

 

Greek Eggplant and Chicken Casserole

Ingredients:

3 spray(s) olive oil cooking spray     

2 medium uncooked eggplant(s), peeled and cut lengthwise into 1/4-inch-thick slices   

3/4 tsp table salt     

 1 pound(s) uncooked extra lean ground chicken breast     

 1 cup(s) (chopped) uncooked onion(s), sliced   

2 clove(s) (medium) garlic clove(s), minced   

2 Tbsp parsley, fresh, chopped   

1/3 tsp dried parsley   

 1/3 tsp chives, dried   

1/3 tsp dried tarragon   

 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon   

1/4 tsp ground nutmeg   

1/2 tsp table salt   

1/2 tsp black pepper, freshly ground     

28 oz canned diced tomatoes   

2 Tbsp canned tomato paste   

6 oz Grated parmesan, (about 3/4 cup)   

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350ºF. Coat a 9 X 13-inch baking pan with cooking spray.
• Place eggplant slices on paper towels and sprinkle with 3/4 teaspoon of salt; let stand 20 minutes to draw out moisture.
• Meanwhile, coat a large nonstick skillet with cooking spray; set pan over medium-high heat. Add chicken; cook until browned, breaking up meat as it cooks, about 5 minutes. Add onion and garlic; cook, stirring often, until onion is soft, about 3 minutes more. Add fresh parsley, dried herbs, cinnamon, nutmeg and 1/2 teaspoon each of salt and pepper; stir to coat. Cook until herbs and spices are fragrant. about 1 minute.
• Add tomatoes and tomato paste; bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to low and simmer, uncovered, until sauce thickens, about 15 minutes. Transfer mixture to a large bowl and set aside.
• Off heat, coat surface of same skillet with cooking spray; set pan over medium-high heat. Wipe salt from eggplant slices with paper towel and add eggplant to hot skillet. Cook, until golden brown, about 2 minutes per side.
• Arrange half of eggplant slices on bottom of prepared baking pan, slightly overlapping pieces to cover entire surface of pan. Top eggplant with chicken mixture; top with 1/4 cup of grated topping. Top with remaining eggplant slices and remaining 1/2 cup of grated topping.
• Bake until top is golden brown and filling is hot, about 45 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes, slice into 8 pieces and serve.

Serves 8 and is 5 Weight Watchers Points Plus Values per serving

"Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, Off to Goal Setting we Go."

Ok, so, this post is going to totally make me sound like a chapter straight out of a self-help book but I promise all is tried and true.

 All we hear over and over, for most our lives, is to set goals. If you want to achieve anything, set those goals. It’s so embedded in us that we set goals even when we don’t realize it. For example, I wake up every morning thinking, “Here we go, time to be a Mom and not go insane.” By the end of the day I’ve realized, I reached my goal. I made it through the day without pulling my hair out, even though I came close. My child is fed, played with, and nurtured. I don’t wake up titling this as a goal, but in a little way it is. Then of course are the more obvious goals: graduate college, establish a career, lose weight, exercise 6 days a week, finish reading a book in 1 week, etc. Sometimes a goal you set for yourself is so overwhelming, you find yourself failing continuously. This was the case for me when it came to losing weight. Every year, at least a couple times, typically New Years Day and sometime during summer, I found myself setting weight lose goals. And of course, I always overwhelmed myself with the goals I set because half the time they were unrealistic, like for instance, I want to lose 30 lbs in 2 months. You have to be realistic about your goals and really think about what’s going on in your life.  I know so many people that can start and finish reading a book in 1 week. However, I know for myself that is an unrealistic goal to set because I don’t always have the time or patience to dedicate to a book every night to finish it in 1 week. Now 6 months, that’s more like it. So if I am going to set a goal to start and finish a book it’s going to be to do within 6 months because I know that it’s doable for my lifestyle. Point of my whole babble there is: Set goals that are realistic for your lifestyle! Just because your friend “Bambi” (Ok, cut me slack, I couldn’t think of another name that wasn’t common) sets a goal for herself to work out 6 times a week doesn’t mean, you have to have that same goal. 6 times a week might be what works for Bambi, but 4 days a week might work better for you because of your schedule and personal life. Get what I’m trying to say? 

Bottom line, goals will be hard to reach if you don’t stop to think about the goal you are setting and making sure that it is realistic for you.

 When I started out with my weight loss, I had unrealistic goals. I set a 50 lb weight loss goal for 1 year. Now, for some, that is totally doable, for me, losing 50 lbs in one year was not exactly what was going to fit into my schedule as a new mom. Zaina was only 3 months old when I started this journey. I was still lacking sleep, didn’t always have the time to exercise or prepare a healthy meal. Very quickly I realized I was setting myself up for failure if I was focusing on going from 201.5 lbs to 150 lbs. And setting myself up for failure was only in turn going to discourage me and make me want to stop trying to lose weight. That’s when I decided to start thinking small goals. I started with cleaning up my diet, reducing my portion sizes and making smaller weight loss goals, like 5 to 10 lbs. Once I got into the swing of this I then began adding exercise into my life. 150 lbs always remained my big goal and when I reached it I started to focus on the next chapter of my weight loss journey which was to get to my Ultimate goal of 125 lbs. I recently got an email from the Hungry Girl website (by the way, if you haven’t already, sign up to receive her newsletters. Great info and recipes, plus she’s Weight Watchers friendly if you are going that route) Anyways, as I was saying, I recently got an email and every tip she provided on sticking to your weight loss goals have totally worked for me over the last 2.5 years and they are simple enough to work for anybody. You just have to allow yourself to take the time and practice these tips. Again, you may find yourself not being able to reach all these goals/tips but start small, find the one(s) that work for you and go with that. Master it, make it part of your everyday life to the point where you don’t even think twice about it and then move on and add another strategy.

Here they are:

1.       Flush the “Strict Diet” mentality down the toilet, NOW!! You are not on a diet, this is a new lifestyle for you. Diet only means you are going to lose the weight and gain it back when you stop the way you are eating to lose weight. “So do the best you can when making food choices, but be realistic: No one's perfect. If you have a bad day, oh well! Just jump right back on that wagon. Beating yourself up = a bad idea.” Hungry Girl

2.       Make the time for Breakfast. And I’m not talking a Pop Tart and a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles people! I used to be notorious for skipping breakfast or eating non filling, sugary meals that were quick. You’ve heard it before and I’m gonna say it again, BREAKFAST REALLY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY. A healthy and nutritious breakfast is essential for weight loss and weight maintenance. If you don’t have time to eat first thing in the morning prepare your breakfast and take it to work with you. This may require you to prepare it the night before but that’s ok, it’s worth it! My three go to breakfasts: Eggs (any way…omelet, scrambled, sandwich), 2% Cottage Cheese with Berries and a Greek Yogurt parfait with berries and low-fat granola. I almost always have a banana and a cup of coffee with Fat Free Half and Half too.

3.       Let yourself splurge every once in a while and in moderation. Hungry girl likes to follow the 80/20 rule. Eat healthy 80% of the time and splurge 20% of the time. I find this to be so true!!! I’m not going to repeat myself but if you read my post about eating low carb you know that when you deprive yourself of a splurge here and there you are going to binge and fall off the weight loss wagon. I always start my week with a run down in my head of how my week is going to go. I think of the days that I may need to utilize my splurge and make sure to eat super healthy the other days so I don’t beat myself up for that splurge. If you are in the weight loss phase and not the maintaining stage yet your splurge may have to be a little more like 10% of the time rather than 20% but make sure you allow yourself something.

4.       Study and write it down. Take the time to read nutrition labels and not only labels but ALWAYS look up restaurant nutrition facts before you head out. Unfortunately, not all restaurants have this information available but if the place you are going to does, check it out and preplan what you are going to order. Not only will this help you choose healthy but it will shock you as to how much food gets served in one order and how bad it is for us, even when it seems healthy. Salads are notorious for this! You would be shocked at how many salads out there have more fat in it than a burger! Also, as much work and cheesy as it sounds, keep a food journal. Weight Watchers is big into this but I’ve been doing this since day one, well before WW entered my life. Trust me; this is something you will thank yourself for later. Keep a journal small enough that you can fit into your purse or utilize your smart phone apps. There are a million apps for free out there where you can track your food.

5.       Get your booty off the couch! I’m not talking off the couch and to the pantry to find your next snack or to drive yourself to the nearest McDonald’s drive thru for that matter either! Get moving! It doesn’t have to be traditional exercise if that’s not your thing. Find activities that you enjoy doing that don’t require you to sit. Even better, buddy up with a friend and enroll in a fun exercise class.

HEALTH AND FITNESS TIP: Find somebody in your life you trust and confide in them. Have them hold you accountable for your goals. Make sure this person is someone who will encourage and motivate you; someone who wants to see you succeed at your goals. I check in with a friend once a week about my weight and check in with the same friend everyday to let her know I will or won’t be exercising that day. She does the same with me. Along with the Hungry Girl Tips above, this one ranks pretty high in having helped me reach my goals.

A Little Inspiration to Start off the New Year

Happy New Year Friends!

I have to say that I am so excited for 2012! I have so many fun events to look forward to and I'm excited that for the first time I don't have a huge amount of weight to lose as one of my New Year's Resolutions. I plan to focus on keeping up with my healthy lifestyle, losing the last 10 lbs, getting my Group Fitness certification and hopefully doing well with my Stella and Dot business. All the while, being the Mother of an adorable, almost 3 year old!!! I can't believe my little girl is going to be 3 years old in just 3 short months! I really don't know where the time goes.

We all have goals and I presume that most of you have set your goals for 2012. I plan to blog about Goal Setting in the next few days but in the mean time I want to leave you with this quote that one of my best friends shared with me a couple weeks ago. I just love it and will be posting it on my fridge! It can be applied to any aspect of your life and any goal you may set for yourself.

Cheers to a fabulous 2012!

NUTRITION TIP: At the beginning of each week, take the time to wash and cut up all  your favorite veggies, including romaine lettuce. Seal in individual containers and store in your fridge. You now have no excuse to not prepare a healthy salad for lunch or dinner and you have veggies ready to go as a quick snack.